Thursday, 13 December 2007

Me Virgile, 24 year old, Proud Xmas Terrorist !!!

Xmas is coming.
Only few days left
Be prepared good People the chubby, old Santa is on his way to punish and award.
Good boys and Honest girls be exited.
Naughty boys and Mischievous girls be scared.
The reddish old man is coming.

I have never been a fervent "adorator" of Xmas.
The whole story with the Old man dragged by a bench of reindeer's lead by Rudolph the red nosed deer did not really appealed to me.

Wonder why.

Back in France in the old days when i was a kid and that my mum was telling all the truth about "Papa Noel" (the very french Santa) I was feeling that something was not right.
I was full of question and again and again i challenged the very true story told by my mum:

"How does Papa Noel do to distribute in one night gift to all the good children of the world?"
"Where does he found all the coal that he gives to the little bad one?" "
Does he have a contract with some Chinese coal mining company
as he has for all the other toys?"
"Do the kid in china building toy for Papa Noel receive themselves gifts?"
"Do the Lutins working for me are syndicated?"
"Can a reindeer be affected by the Mad cow decease?"

But the thing that the most was perturbation me was
how the Petit Papa Noel was finding if we have been good or bad.
Was he defining good and bad in his own term or
was he using some standardized way of defining?"
"What could have been his methods?"

Very intrigued by this is, I remember that at the age of 8, as a bad believed in the magic of Xmas I decided to challenge the old man and decided to be bad just before Xmas just to see what was going to happen. Thus i remember stealing some candies in the supermarket where my mother was having her habitual weekly grocery shopping.
Stealing is a criminal act. This is written in the law and even it is written in the bible. Commandment number 8: Do not steal. God Told it and Papa noel is more or less working for God according to the old women desperatly trying every week to teach me catholic religious values during my catechism weekly teaching.

They did a very good job. I should now thank them:

I am today not only a total relapsed catholic but also a fervent atheist.
A notorious homosexual.
Have Sex on a regular basis without being married.
Never go to church.
Misuse the name of god on a regular basis.

Back to my very first Xmas crime.
I knew what i was doing and knew that Xmas was only few days away and
that i will have to face Papa Noel for my criminal act and pay for it.
Nothing happened.
It did not affect at all my Xmas harvest.
I had been bad.
Had stolen something.
Had enjoy stealing it and still i was had been covered by gift.

Strange isn´t it?

First i tough that Santa was not only old but he was also blind and apparently not able to make judgement about the Good and Bad.
Maybe Papa Noel was showing the signs of Alzheimer?
The following year i was kept to be bad, and became officially my carrier a serial candy robber.
And still i was spoiled at Xmas. How comes ? Was the love of Santa beyond my criminal carrier?
It´s only few years later when i finally discovered that my mother was conspiring with Papa Noel that i understood the Good of the Bad and the Bad of the Good.

I realized that Xmas time, outside the whole concept of the celebration of the birth of the little Jesus is a way to submit people for the GOOD.

Yes Ladies and Gentlemen,
Xmas make you submissive.
Like a good Master it tells you when to be good and when to not be bad.
Good boy.
You Listen.
Good Girl.
You are good.
You get gifts.

I am one of those strange people in this world that practice necessary evil.
Not because I am a bad person realizing myself.
Not because I am a good person perverting myself.
Just because being evil is sometime necessary.
Just to remind others that life is not a Disney movie with singing midgets and dancing servants.
In the real life people make fun of midget and servants know that dancing during their working time will kept on their salary.
That´s what we call the real life.
I could give more examples:
Waiting line in supermarket, meeting people we deeply dislike,
Does this recall something to You?
Of course not. Because you are probably blinded by the light of some fallacious belief that u are to be good and accept your penitence because this is Christmas time.
For me even in december...waiting line in Stores is unbearable.
What make it even more unbearable is music that goes with in december.
"Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells"
- Dear costumer, remenber our promotion on Cheese this week-
"Jingle all the way Oh, what fun it is to ride"
- Monique cash machine number 2-
"In a one horse open sleigh"
-Bob pick up the phone line 2-
"Jingle bells, jingle bells"
- The little kevin is waiting his parents at the entrance of the store-
"Jingle all the way"
-One thousand five hundred twenty four-
"Oh, what fun it is to ride"
-Have u tried the sausage of the butcher-
"In a one horse open sleigh yeah"

I can´t stand Xmas Carols.
There is nothing worst than them.
Every year the same eternal songs singing the joy of the birth of the Child and the white snow.

Year after Year.
Snow flakes after snow flakes.
The same
Obliged to be good because we are told so.
I refuse.
I resist.
I fight back.
i am a Xmas Terrorist.

I refuse Xmas song.
Cherish those who pervert them
Between "Rudolf the red nosed deer" and "Rudolf the deep throat deer"
I am enjoying the blowing one.
I diffuse it.

Being a Xmas terrorist is not easy.
I have to find the right thing to apply my terror.
The goal is not to hurt anyone.
Not to kill anyone.
Just to perturbate the course of the event.
Like for example:
Looking grumpy in waiting line.
Actively refusing all the free stuff that people in stores want to give you like free Xmas cookies.
you don´t imagine how long the stuff have been open.
When wrapping Xmas gift for your relatives.
Do it in the most umperfect way possible.
Face proudly the faces that comes when you offers them.

Polute Xmas where u can.
Stay yourself as you are all the rest of the year.
don´t fake smiles.
If you don´t feel like smiling don´t do it.
Spread Happiness as it should be.
Not wrapped in the Xmas syndrom.
Be aware.
Don´t become grinchy.
Stay yourself.
Don´t be good because you are told to be.
Because this is a "special" time of the year.
Being a Xmas terrorist.
Being normal.

Ps: Go to check my flickr. I have decided to seriously take photo.