Thursday, 13 December 2007

Me Virgile, 24 year old, Proud Xmas Terrorist !!!

Xmas is coming.
Only few days left
Be prepared good People the chubby, old Santa is on his way to punish and award.
Good boys and Honest girls be exited.
Naughty boys and Mischievous girls be scared.
The reddish old man is coming.

I have never been a fervent "adorator" of Xmas.
The whole story with the Old man dragged by a bench of reindeer's lead by Rudolph the red nosed deer did not really appealed to me.

Wonder why.

Back in France in the old days when i was a kid and that my mum was telling all the truth about "Papa Noel" (the very french Santa) I was feeling that something was not right.
I was full of question and again and again i challenged the very true story told by my mum:

"How does Papa Noel do to distribute in one night gift to all the good children of the world?"
"Where does he found all the coal that he gives to the little bad one?" "
Does he have a contract with some Chinese coal mining company
as he has for all the other toys?"
"Do the kid in china building toy for Papa Noel receive themselves gifts?"
"Do the Lutins working for me are syndicated?"
"Can a reindeer be affected by the Mad cow decease?"

But the thing that the most was perturbation me was
how the Petit Papa Noel was finding if we have been good or bad.
Was he defining good and bad in his own term or
was he using some standardized way of defining?"
"What could have been his methods?"

Very intrigued by this is, I remember that at the age of 8, as a bad believed in the magic of Xmas I decided to challenge the old man and decided to be bad just before Xmas just to see what was going to happen. Thus i remember stealing some candies in the supermarket where my mother was having her habitual weekly grocery shopping.
Stealing is a criminal act. This is written in the law and even it is written in the bible. Commandment number 8: Do not steal. God Told it and Papa noel is more or less working for God according to the old women desperatly trying every week to teach me catholic religious values during my catechism weekly teaching.

They did a very good job. I should now thank them:

I am today not only a total relapsed catholic but also a fervent atheist.
A notorious homosexual.
Have Sex on a regular basis without being married.
Never go to church.
Misuse the name of god on a regular basis.

Back to my very first Xmas crime.
I knew what i was doing and knew that Xmas was only few days away and
that i will have to face Papa Noel for my criminal act and pay for it.
Nothing happened.
It did not affect at all my Xmas harvest.
I had been bad.
Had stolen something.
Had enjoy stealing it and still i was had been covered by gift.

Strange isn´t it?

First i tough that Santa was not only old but he was also blind and apparently not able to make judgement about the Good and Bad.
Maybe Papa Noel was showing the signs of Alzheimer?
The following year i was kept to be bad, and became officially my carrier a serial candy robber.
And still i was spoiled at Xmas. How comes ? Was the love of Santa beyond my criminal carrier?
It´s only few years later when i finally discovered that my mother was conspiring with Papa Noel that i understood the Good of the Bad and the Bad of the Good.

I realized that Xmas time, outside the whole concept of the celebration of the birth of the little Jesus is a way to submit people for the GOOD.

Yes Ladies and Gentlemen,
Xmas make you submissive.
Like a good Master it tells you when to be good and when to not be bad.
Good boy.
You Listen.
Good Girl.
You are good.
You get gifts.

I am one of those strange people in this world that practice necessary evil.
Not because I am a bad person realizing myself.
Not because I am a good person perverting myself.
Just because being evil is sometime necessary.
Just to remind others that life is not a Disney movie with singing midgets and dancing servants.
In the real life people make fun of midget and servants know that dancing during their working time will kept on their salary.
That´s what we call the real life.
I could give more examples:
Waiting line in supermarket, meeting people we deeply dislike,
Does this recall something to You?
Of course not. Because you are probably blinded by the light of some fallacious belief that u are to be good and accept your penitence because this is Christmas time.
For me even in december...waiting line in Stores is unbearable.
What make it even more unbearable is music that goes with in december.
"Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells"
- Dear costumer, remenber our promotion on Cheese this week-
"Jingle all the way Oh, what fun it is to ride"
- Monique cash machine number 2-
"In a one horse open sleigh"
-Bob pick up the phone line 2-
"Jingle bells, jingle bells"
- The little kevin is waiting his parents at the entrance of the store-
"Jingle all the way"
-One thousand five hundred twenty four-
"Oh, what fun it is to ride"
-Have u tried the sausage of the butcher-
"In a one horse open sleigh yeah"

I can´t stand Xmas Carols.
There is nothing worst than them.
Every year the same eternal songs singing the joy of the birth of the Child and the white snow.

Year after Year.
Snow flakes after snow flakes.
The same
Obliged to be good because we are told so.
I refuse.
I resist.
I fight back.
i am a Xmas Terrorist.

I refuse Xmas song.
Cherish those who pervert them
Between "Rudolf the red nosed deer" and "Rudolf the deep throat deer"
I am enjoying the blowing one.
I diffuse it.

Being a Xmas terrorist is not easy.
I have to find the right thing to apply my terror.
The goal is not to hurt anyone.
Not to kill anyone.
Just to perturbate the course of the event.
Like for example:
Looking grumpy in waiting line.
Actively refusing all the free stuff that people in stores want to give you like free Xmas cookies.
you don´t imagine how long the stuff have been open.
When wrapping Xmas gift for your relatives.
Do it in the most umperfect way possible.
Face proudly the faces that comes when you offers them.

Polute Xmas where u can.
Stay yourself as you are all the rest of the year.
don´t fake smiles.
If you don´t feel like smiling don´t do it.
Spread Happiness as it should be.
Not wrapped in the Xmas syndrom.
Be aware.
Don´t become grinchy.
Stay yourself.
Don´t be good because you are told to be.
Because this is a "special" time of the year.
Being a Xmas terrorist.
Being normal.

Ps: Go to check my flickr. I have decided to seriously take photo.

Thursday, 15 November 2007

Finding my way in waterpolo

I have decided to quit football for a bit. Decided to try do do something new: Waterpolo. This is very nice and extremely motivating. I love it. Life seems so simple when u have a ball and you can kick people almost as much as you want ! This is a lot of fun. I didn´t it was available in Iceland until i walked in the pool a monday evening. Anyway... here are few facts about waterpolo:

You know you're a waterpolo player when..

-you smell like chlorine 24 7 even after taking showers

-you rarely shower at home

-you are used to doing homework in the car

-you make more gay jokes than you should

-you aren't repulsed by speedos, you actually like them and find them more convenient than those baggy trunks some people wear

-you are not disturbed by the thought of deck changing and you think it's an efficient way to save some time

-you are constantly annoyed by people who think waterpolo is just volleyball in a shallow pool

-you have scratches all over your body, and simply shrugg when people ask you what happened, because you want to avoid the whole "how is volleyball dangerous?!" scenario

-if you are a girl, you have red marks all over your neck and are usually tutted by some teachers at school if you happen to wear a tank top

-you aren't always aware that you're bleeding or bruised

-you secretly like the smell of chlorine

-you think waterpolo players are more attractive than other people

-it is normal to get home later than 11pm, and your friends are always jealous of your curfew, but you are too tired to explain to them that you're not out partying, you're at the pool

-you prefer swimming in pools over oceans

-your summer hangout is the pool

-you have terrible bathingsuit tan during the summer

-you will never be caught at a puplic swim

-you resepct swimmers less than other people

-you dont think waterpolo hats are funny looking

-your breaststroke has gotten considerably worse and as frustrated as your summer swim coaches get, there is no hope for your backstroke

-your muscles hurt after a few days of not being in the water, especially your shoulders and knees

-you are extremely un-flexible

-when you lick yourself you taste like chlorine:)

-you get cap tans in the summer

-you get to know the lifeguards who give out ice pretty well:D

-you diss synchro ppl regularly

-you get kicked out of hotels for horsing around:D

-you find yourself needing therapy after tounaments on account of sexual assult

-you have been touched in places that normal people shouldn't touch

-you are at the pool more often than at home

-one arm is bigger than the other

-Your eyes are bloodshot from the chlorine and when you go to school, people constantly ask you, "Are you high?"

-You find yourself drawing out "man-ups" on a page in your math book when your supposed to be paying attention..sometimes you even try to explain it to someone.

-when u say u play waterpolo and someone even mentions horses, u get seriously angry and want to injure someone

-you find yourself explaining to ppl what the game is really about and why you have so many cut's briuses and choke marks, but usually they just stare at you in awe, probably thinking that they will think twice before playing volleyball in the pool

-you think underwater hockey players are the lowest form of life amd look for any opportunity to get in a fight with one

-this only applies for girls but...
ppl who ask if you wear bikinis... you try to explain that a bikini would only get ripped off then when they give you demented looks, you laugh because the idea seems funny to you

you thought practice was long only to find out that the 'team talk' afterward is even longer than the actual practice

- you give a good, firm handshake to every opponent after a game and are appauled when playing another organized sport, that your opponents only slap your hand after the game

- giving wedgies to teammates on the pool deck will never get old.

- you perfectly understand everyone with a heavy, eastern-european accent because you've had to adapt to what your coach says, who indeed has a heavy, eastern-european accent

-you've probably gotten more kickouts then you should but secretly don't regret any of them because hey, that bitch deserved it

-you're 'slippery when wet' and you 'do it in the deep end'

- you know the reason why an hour before games you and your teamates lather yourselves with lotion :) ( its to be slippery in the water incase no one got

-butterfly is not a stroke, IT IS A PUNISHMENT

-you think going to training is more important than going to school.

-you hear "hahaha dont the horses drown?" and (when playing nubes) "ow your holding me!! why are u grabbing me?!" frequently

-whenever a new person comes to your team wearing a long bathing suit, you point, laugh, and show no mercy

-victoria rules/no rules will always have a special place in your heart.. especially when there are swimmers involved

-complete strangers may 'know' your body better than a non-waterpolo playing boyfriend/girlfriend

-you are a little too used to seeing rainbows around lights and cloudy vision

-when wearing two suits feels normal. And one just doesn't feel like it will hold.

-when you have seen your coach in a speedo and no one pressed charges

-When you say to someone "I play waterpolo...yeah its just like polo except we put the horses in the water" Then watching them think it over until you can't help but laugh at them.

-when one messes up, everyone suffers.

-when you get your suit pulled off and end up flashing everyone on the pool deck so much that it no longer phases you

-nothing compares to how potentially lazy you can be

- Being determined to ruin the new TJ on tour twice as bad as when you were there.

- Getting changed in the mini bus and running straight into the pool ready changed because your late for the match you have to drive 3 hours from home for.

-when you sweat during gym class, everyone starts comenting on how all of a sudden the entire gym smells like chlorine

-guys: you dont feel as bad as you used to when it comes on beating up girls .... but girls: you no longer feel bad about sacking guys who are wiling to beat you up.

-when people dont understand that saturdays are not available...yes, tournaments actually last 18 hours

-for girls; you know you play waterpolo when you dont have anymore hair at the back of your head :) ( its always pulled off from the zipper)

-guys: you refer to your costume as a turbo, not a speedo.

-you recognize your friends better when they are half naked, and think they are better looking, than when they have clothes on.

-when you don't even bother to see a physio anymore when you dislocate your shoulder

-you have tons of friends from all over the country just from tournaments

- catching or holding a ball with two hands feels awkward

-when you have become so desensitized to being kicked and punched that you laugh at people (non-polo players) who actually think they're tough

-you can eat enough food to feed a small orphanage

- there isnt a limit to just how high you are supposed to raise yourself out of the water

-for married men- You know your a real waterpolo player when your wife only complains when you haven't got scratch marks all over your back!

-you've had to explain the game so many times you can repeat your explanation from memory

-when you bring people that have never seen a game you have to constantly look over and signal them when to cheer

-people have no idea how satisfying it is to be able to knee, elbow, and punch people underwater and not be called for a brutality kick out or offensive.

-your fingertips bleed from filing them down on the pool deck and wearing a rubber swim suit appeals to you

-your hair dresser is appauled by the straw like texture of your hair and has given up on trying to teach you what conditioner is

-When excitement takes over the moment you see a swimming pool

-When you are totally bothered if you're at the pool without a ball, any ball, for that matter.

- underwaters never get old

- when you break your good hand... you don't stop playing polo, you start playing with your other hand.

- speedo's (turbo's) feel natural after a while.

- you think about the training you did the day before, and you wonder "how did we do that".

- your troubles are settled under the water.

- you remember you first goal.

-all your friends are from the waterpolo team, when the season ends you dont really know what to do with yourself on weekends

-You know you are a waterpolo player when you wear your speedos to the supermarket after practice/games

-you know you're a waterpolo player when someone grabs your costume so you kick up to show the referee your boobs....even when your dad is watching the game from the balcony..

-when you dont care that you're walking around with a massive wet stain on your ass and crotch cause you have a game soon and are too lazy to take of your speedo

-You know you're a waterpolo player when your friends are always asking you to show them how to skip a ball across the pool

-You Know you are a waterpolo player when you smile after being kicked in the ribs or balls. And the smile means "Just wait until I get hold of you buddy!"

I think i am one of those


Saturday, 15 September 2007


September.... the beguining of School, the beguining of autumn, the beguining of a new fashion season, of a new literature season but also.... Time of REHAB... Yes Ladies and Gentleman.. Septembre is the Month of REHAB... The month where u have to check yourself into your normal like.....The summer and its numerous exces...(ice cream.. snack...sleazy food....well september i my month of rehab and so far i am doing good.. at least better than lindsay lohan......almost.....
so from now ... i am considering that food is devilish...... Eating is from the past.... not eating is the future......Almost.. kate most.. almost

Let see how it goes !!


Friday, 17 August 2007

My Muddy Side

The summer is ending and in fews days we will move back to the south, to Reykjavík, to home.

It has been an amazing summer, and i ve to say that the Icelandic country side experience has been very good. I ve discovered a side of Iceland, that i didn´t know and i love it. I had 3 main fears

First I ve to say that i was a bit scared to live 1 hours away to the next "Very Good Coffee To Go" establisment was frightening but i made it. Still not that addicted ! You are probably thinking ... well very good coffee can be made at home... but for me this very good coffee is more than just a coffee.... this very good coffee is possibility, opportunity and space. (mundus est geographicus)

Second, i can say it today that i was a bit scarred to leave the city to go to live in the country. (that sounds like a good plot for a TV show.....!). I guess i ve still some rest of France, but for me ... being Gay and living in te country side.... was like being Hemophilic and being into needles play....Not Good. I even thought my first day that they,the others, the locals were going to welcome us with fork and torch...Didn´t Happen... Not Yet !!!!

Third, Myself. I think i was my biggest fear. I ve to say... that being raised as a countryside boy in France, then moved to the "great" city of Reims when i was 15, to finally end up when i was 22 in Reykjavík, Iceland..... i was scared of mysefl when i started to think about going back to the countryside...One second i though it was a regression... "Back to the Mud" But that is not right to say that this is a regression. i guess i am more mature now... and less superficial (Where is my F(word) coffee??). I was scared to no be able to make it and to find out that i had lost something that i am secretly cheering deep inside me..... My muddy side... My muddyself

Yes Lady and Gentleman ... I ve a muddy side... and i am proud of it. I like it wet and dirty....

I ve to say that i relate this muddy side to my childhood in the "bucolic" French countryside and all those hours that i ve spend to play outside.. alone.. and being just muddy and happy...

But today i am not alone... but i am happy and because he loves me .... he let me be muddy and i ve to say that i will not have been muddy anywhere without him, and i just want to say thank you to him to have drag me to the north of Iceland, and to have shown me that i was able to survive there....
Ólafsfjörður is a very nice place to live... Unfortunately due to the non-presence of a "Very Good Coffee To Go" place....I can´t finish this sentence.....I guess i just miss Reykjavík, my office at the university, the city center, going to the gym, seeing my friends.....
Next Friday i will move back from the Countryside to the city and i feel like a porphet about the Icelandic Country Side : Oyé Oyé Urban People....The countryside is there and the countryside is good !!!!

Monday, 4 June 2007

The Light at the end of the tunnel......

That´s a comon saying that usually there is ligh at the end of tunnel.

Sometimes comon sayings are wrong.

There is no light at the end of tunnel... there is Ólafsfjörður....Ólafsfjörður town of 946 souls + one + me..... There is still no proof that i am doted of a soul... People are still wondering about it.. anyway.......

There is no light at the end of tunnel there is Ólafsfjörður... and so far this is nice.. impressive landscape... apparently nice people...... our laun is perfectly cut...... the sun is shining, bird singing...Perfect..... no cloud... expect maybe the light herring smell...... but who cares ? Ikea created the scented candells !!! My home will propably look like a satan whorshiper.. but who cares ? There is no light at the end of tunnel there is Ólafsfjörður... so they probably don´t know satan over there......Everything here seems quiet... G started his first day and this is going fine. He came back from the outside world .... with nothing.... yes apparently there is no gossip.. nothing.....What´s wrong with those people ? No one spying on anyone.... No one misbehaving.... My laun perfectly cut this is too suspicious.....

Does heaven look like this ? Does heaven look like Ólafsfjörður?... if yes.. God should inform is inhabitants that Ólafsfjörður is going to become Purgatory... A second tunnel is under constrution on the other side of the town.....

Did heaven looked like Ólafsfjörður?

Saturday, 5 May 2007

Desperatly Seeking Free Hug !

! Desperatly Seeking Free Hug !

"I don't mind where you come from; As long as you come to me"

"All the same" the Sick Puppies

Close to personal social depression.

Bad week... at work.... at the world....just generally bad week ....

Busy week for my carebear

We are saturday evening.. and tomorow there is the French election...the French presidential election. I ve hope and i am scared... scared that we could happen tomorow... and for the next 5 years...I am astonished to see what is happening... to see what people are willing to swallow... i am deseperatly astonised.... Anyway... i am probably officially entering in resistance tomorow evening.... the darwf will not be my president....

Where is my carebear

All that i ve read heard, seen the last weeks about France, french people (myself by extension) and the world... during the french presidential election make me sick. Simply sick. How did we get there. How did we end up to be so individualist? something went wrong terribly wrong...The France that i am seeing today is not the France of my youth. Am i an endangered species ? or Were i too blind to see the truth ? That make me sick.

The world is awfull ? Can someone bring my carebear ?

i need a hug. Not from Gunni. i ve plenty of those. Thank for this. I need a hug from a stranger. From someone who will come to me. hug me and leave.... just leave.... and let me there... feeling that there is still hope... that there is still hope in this world.... in the human being.... That we are not this individualist piece a flesh that i see. i need a free hug. and i want to give free hug. i want to give free hug to people to tell them. Don´t worry. We are there. U are not alone. Even if i don t know u i am there.. and we are plenty out there like u desperatly seeking for a free hug. A hug without interests exept the one to make u feel that u are not alone.

I need my carebear

Tomorow France has to make a society choice. Do french people want an agresive, individualist society, or do we an other thing. Do French people want to work together or against each other. What do we want to do.

I need my carebear

I am ashamed to see what people are willing to swallow from politician. I am surprised to see how they are willing to sit on the brench that we are sitting on.

Why in a time where everyone seems to look for masochism i want the opposite? Altermasochist?

I need a hug. And soon u will need one. And we will be there.

I am gonna need a lot of free hug in the future. We are gonna need a lot of free hug. Especially if u live in France.

I need my carebear.

! Desperatly Seeking for a Free Hug !

Sunday, 22 April 2007

French Election

Damned... Hard sunday..... very hard..... Big decision to make today ... other than Mc do or subway ....(subway won).....For which candidate am i going to vote ...? big doubt between two......hummm hummmm I ve tried to get help from outside.... flipped a coin... it felt on the side.... What should i do ? this is the 3rd phone call that i make to france for my vote....
Big choice .. big choice... !!!

Choice done... i have read the news... and ... one of my subject of hesitation.. just let the press know that he went to the church before he went to vote........ before the vote...

He just lost mine ..... damned.. thank god for this easy choice.....

Not that i am against religion.. anyone is able to believe what ever he wants.. but... i am against that the man or the woman who is going to be the president of a Laic state.. show what religion he is..... u cannot pretend to embrace the Republic if u don t respect one of HER simple principles... Religion is a private fact.. it has to stay in the private sphere...

Going to make a last phone call ...
Going to get ready for football.....
Can i play with a stereo on the shoulder ?

Survival of the fitest

Survival of the fitest... Well... More the days go.... less i am the fitest one.... more i am Not going to survive......

When i am suppose to not survive anymore...

is it when i can t get through the door anymore?

This is insane.. must have Prader willy Syndrom.. i can t stop to eat... Well this is not that i want to stop.. indeed.. this is a scientific fact that eating is usefull .. but i can t stop to eat crap food....Damned Survival of the fitest.... !!! Those are not Love handle.. this is a steering wheel love...... damned.....

i am aslo studing some other syndrom that i could apply to my case...... Half boulemia.... (eating ... eating...eating ... eating... and not throwing up )and/or Alzeimer boulemia..... i am eating ... eating...eating ... eating...eating ... eating... but i forget to throw up...

i wish i was as good as finding excuses to not eat as i am finding ones to eat... like ....... Humm today .. french election..i am stressed.. (as it was going to change my life.. i am living in iceland.. and haven t been back home for quite sometimes now....).. hummm Subway and coke..... did i say that i had toffu in the fridges...... not an option today .. not an option ......

Every sunday .. i am finding a new idea.. for a miracle program that could save me to not go through the door.... Every monday i stand up.. reach the bathroom....look at me in the mirror... find me cute.. and decide to postpone my miracle program....What the hell.. i am cute..isn´t it ?

So ... today we are sunday .. i ve sined i am a siner .... i went to subway ..... and i am planing allready the miracle program to save my soul... or at leat what my soul is wrapped in !!! (not sure that this is the correct gramatical order) anyway.. there is layer.. and there is my soul.. (if i ve one ..).. i am having a plan... Marchall type plan... to get rid some of those layers.....

why.. why .. why do we have to do this to ourself ? Iceland is a devilish every store.. half of it is only snack... and the tentation is even greater when u live next to the store.. that close at midnight....

By the way ..BF... is right now eating cookies.... Why Why why !!!!

Tentation !!!!! tentation !!!!!