The Petasse Factor

We have all a "pétasse" ( bimbo in english but the french word is more classy :-p) inside us. I have one.. my boyfriend have one.. my friends have one.. even "bug" men such as the French president have one. We all have a petasse inside us. That´s just a fact. From the granny humping on Cliff Richard to the kid dandling in front of teletubies. We are all pétasse. We all have a pétasse inside us. For example... lately my pétasse-self has been really triggered by Lorie "je vais vite" Don´t ask me why. This make me pétasse. Being a pétasse is not bad. There is no problem with it. This is just in the normal order of the things. That´s life. You can´t deny it. Your pétasse side is just a part of you. But what is pétasse?

The general definition applies to girl. It defines a girl who has totaly disconnected her attitude (look, gesture, way of talking) from the simple notions of efficiency, confort to let her behaviour being ruled by the most absurd diktat...Such as wearing high heels on the ice (very comon here in Iceland), wearing a mini skirt and a mimi top by minus 10 (frozen blue legs are so attractive). The so called "Gay Culture" is a form of pétasserie (This will be the object of another post. I am not going to terminate my fellow gay male beings today)


In addition , the petasse only lives for the others. Living mainly in the eyes of the others, the pétasse is a player and inconsciently think that she is under permanent focus and thus end up to ignore the rest of the world... and if she end up to meet this world... the pétasse becomes a bitch (or pétasse 2.0). Pétasse design a woman in french, but doesn´t have any sexist meanning. a pétasse can be also a man (see the link for a typology of the male pétasse, unfortunately in french only).

This would be the classical /clinical definition...I personally do believe (Tribute to Miss America 2007, another pétasse in the sky) that there is other side... There is people naturally born pétasse...What i would call the Genuine Pétasse and there is the others.. like you and me.... born more or less normal (the less is for me, everyday take me away from normality). Anyway, some of us are born pétasse the Genuine Pétasse (pétasse category 1) while some of us are Inside Pétasse (pétasse categorie 2). Hopefully i am in the second categorie, if i am in the first one... then i am very bad at it.

For the second category, being pétasse, is more like a sudden wave inside, a surge that can´t be really described.... a form outburst... eventually a shaking... a movement a need to show ourself.. this fashionable article that you shooped and that don´t really fit you....This unsocially acceptable behaviour that comes for no reason as for example when listening some kind of music as for example or this this look familliar.. it could be you on a lonely saturday afternoon.

Don´t deny we all do it.

There is in both categories (Genuine Pétasse and Inside Pétasse) several undercategories. For example there is in the first category the Pétasse 2.0 a.k.a the bitch who are generally coupled with the Pétasse Pro if this is the case you have a Pétasse 2.0 Pro (not that rare by the way... not that rare). Concerning the second category, you have a very special kind of Inside Pétasse. The pétasse in deny, commonly name the Bugged Pétasse. They are the worst because they are in deny of their actual pétasse-self. They are the one to stiff to exteriorise even in private their Pétassitude. This is borderline patholigique and we Inside Pétasse and Genuine Pétasse should do everything to help them. The first thing is to spot them.

One of their most comon trait is to be in compagny of extrem form of Pétasse such as the Pétasse 2.0 or a Pétasse Pro and or even worst the Pétasse 2.0 Pro. One example that come right in my mind will be the one of the actual French President Nicolas Sarkozy. (Side advice avoid to say "our", "your", "their" or "my" when you talk about him to people could first, think you have vote for him, second that you are insulting the french nation). Sarkozy, a Bugged Pétasse ? YES !!! He has all the attribute. The fashionable clothing and heavy shiny accesorries "the Bling Bling" and since last saturday he is officially married to a the Pétasse 2.0 Pro, ex-model/professional anorexic Carla Bruni ( I personally call her Carla Brownie...but this is kind of unfare for her. She probably never eaten one of those). To show that the Bugged Pétasse is crying for help, apparently, just before getting married, he try to contact his ex-wife and told her that if she was coming back, he will cancel everything with the Pétasse 2.0 Pro Carla Bruni special edition (this should be a new big category). He previsouly divorced Cecilia Sarkozy who was until last saturday a Pétasse 2.0 Pro but seems today only to be a Genuine Pétasse. (Just for the pleasure here, a picture of the happy couple before it get all ugly and when they were still "today´s familly"(divorced.. re-maried.. stepson, stepdaughter, stepmother, stepfather all living together etc...)before it all this ugly divorce. Notice that on the the fact she is not wearing heels and he is wearing some). Please Bernadette the total Anti-Pétasse 2.0 Pro, (Bernadette Chirac ex-first lady/"Lady I am an insult to fashion and an honor for potatoe bag") please come back and show them what it really take to be a first lady. Cecilia Sarkozy seems also to become a good Anti-Pétasse 2.0 Pro. Today I have to say that if I was meeting her, I will apologize to her, i totally misjudged her. Cecilia, if in your London/New York retreat you read this blog. I am sorry. You are just one of us.

What should you do to help this poor soul in his Pétassitude? Seriously i don´t know and the Pétasse 2.0 Pro is very hard to fight. So far i haven´t found any solution. Maybe someone should come with a plan... some kind of Pétasse Boot Camp. There is a lot to do there. Maybe in the case of the French President, our best cure is a Genuine Pétasse such as his ex-wife.

I have nothing more to say on the subject except : Pétasse Power !!!!!